This morning I woke bright and early, tiptoed out of my bedroom so as not to wake my husband (or my dogs) and went to the bathroom to suit up for my training session and pee on a stick.  That’s right, today’s cycle day 15…already!  And as per the doctor, I’ve been testing for my LH surge every day since cycle day 11, which was Monday 12/17. 

I’m using the Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Test because they are literally fool proof!  And I need fool proof.  All other tests require you to differentiate between two lines, the control and the test.  You need to be responsible enough to distinguish whether the test line is there, if it’s lighter, the same or darker than the control line.  Apparently I’m just not responsible enough to do this.  I want to see the test line equal to or darker than the control, therefore I think I see the test line equal to or darker than the control.  Not good.  After all, accuracy is kind of important in this game.

This test is fool proof because you have this little electronic monitor stick thing and 7 test sticks.  You open the test stick, remove the cap and insert it into the monitor.  You will see a little test stick appear on the digital screen and you know the test it ready to be peed on.  After you give it a 7 second shower, you will see the test stick symbol on the screen start flashing, which means its working.  Set it down, come back (or hover over watching obsessively like a hawk does its prey) 3 minutes later you will either see a smiley face or an empty circle.  What could be easier than that?  See, foolproof.  And MUCH cheaper than an actual fertility monitor.

Needless to say, I have not seen a smiley face yet, which means that a 28 day cycle is out of the question for me this time around.  Although I really don’t care about that; I mean, I’d prefer a 28 day cycle to a 45 day cycle, but the goal here is to even just ovulate.  So I continue testing until I see a smile. 

Happy Friday everyone!  Only 3 more full days of shopping…get your asses in gear!

Can you believe Christmas is 5 days away?  I can’t.  It crept up so quickly; quicker than it ever has before.  Sigh.

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year.  I love the lights.  I love the feel.  I love giving gifts, I love getting gifts.  I love everything about it.  I even love last minute shopping, because the closer we get to Christmas, the more it feels like Christmas.  Of course the downside to this is all the Fucking nut jobs out there…but I try not to let them bring me down.  I say please and thank you, spread my holiday cheer and hope it absolutely kills them inside that I am in such a great holiday mood when they are anything but.

By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, I have already spontaneously transformed back into a 5 year old.  After all, Santa’s coming!  I will even admit that I still “believe” in Santa Clause.  How could you not?  Try it one year…I guarantee Christmas will be that much more magical for you! 

So, want to know what my biggest stressor is right now?  Ready to laugh and tell me how ridiculous I am?  I don’t want my husband to see his Christmas gifts under the tree until Christmas morning when we wake up and come downstairs together.  Why?  Because I want it to be just like when we were kids and you would wake up and run out to the tree to ohhh and ahhhh over the sight of all the gifts!  A simple solution would be to put his gifts under the tree after he’s already gone to bed.  Yeah, great, I’ve thought of this already.  The problem with this method of delivery is that I would then end up seeing my gifts that he put under the tree for me.  And I don’t want to see them until Christmas morning; remember, wake up Christmas morning and ohhh and ahhhh over all the gifts?  So now you understand my ridiculous issue.  I’ll figure it out.  Maybe we will blindfold eachother and just scatter all the gifts under the tree at the same.  Yeah, I think that’ll work!

I’m basically finished shopping.  I had an unfortunate event occur while standing on line at a store today…one of my bottom molar teeth broke, so in an absolute panic, I put the items down and left.  I didn’t know if I was going to break out in terrible pain or what.  Needless to say I definitely feel like I have a nerve exposed and will be visiting my least favorite place tonight; the dentist.  I actually prefer flashing my vagina at the GYN’s office over going to the dentist…THAT’S how much I dislike the goings on at the dentist. 

Anyway…I have gotten just about everything I had on my list to get, except for one thing that I had hoped to give my husband.  See, I really thought that we would be pregnant by now and dreamed of everyway possible to tell him this great news.  I had so many ideas of how I would have told him, in the form of early Christmas gifts, but it looks like I will have to store them away for when that time actually comes.  If things work out for us in the next few months, we may have a perfect little present just in time for next Christmas! 

This morning as I was driving home from the gym, I got this overwhelming feeling of paranoia.  “What is this feeling?” I asked myself.  “And why, out of nowhere, has it consumed me like I feel the need to consume a giant home baked chocolate chip cookie?”  Then it hit me.  Tonight is Eric’s holiday party and I will be wearing tights underneath my dress.  I should state that I am by no means a stocking person.  I try to avoid wearing them at all costs; they just aren’t comfortable.  But I will wear tights, if the outfit calls for it.  So, knowing that in a few hours I would have to perform the tedious task of appending them to my legs, anxiety became me. 

“Why?” you are probably asking yourself.  Well every time I have to put on tights (or stockings) I fear that a vicious hang nail or piece of dry skin will jut out from one of my fingertips and snag the material, leaving me with holy tights!  And then I would be shit out of luck, as I only have this one pair of black tights.  A simple solution would be to make sure I have a back up pair, but who am I to make my life easier by ensuring my sanity with a simple solution.  So, at approximately 4pm, I will be carefully maneuvering this task; making sure I do not end up with holy tights. 

Of course as I write this, I also fear that I am jinxing myself by talking about it and making it known to the universe that I have this fear. 

Who thinks I’m crazy?  Who can totally relate?

This morning as the alarm clock started belting out “Jingle Bell Rock” at 5:15, I quickly thrashed my hand down over the snooze button.  I had the alarm clock set to get up for my 6am sculpting class.  I was exhausted; I don’t know why, my biggest outing this past weekend was yesterday’s shopping trip.  The wind was howling outside and I just knew it was going to be rather ice cubish out there.  So I snoozed until 5:30.  This now meant that I had to get up, get dressed, wash up, put something light in my belly so I don’t pass out during walking lunges, and be out the door in 15 minutes.  If anybody knows me, I need more like 30.  Not because I’m difficult, just because I don’t like to rush.  I enjoy a multigrain English muffin toasted with some peanut butter before class and today I had to inhale some bran flakes with skim milk and it’s still repeating on me, in ways we won’t discuss.  Although I’m thinking this may be yet another Clomid side effect.

Anyway, I had also started my car as soon as I woke up so it would be uber toasty by the time I had to leave although when I tried to get in it, the doors wouldn’t open.  At first I thought the doors were frozen shut, but then I realized that they were not unlocking with my remote.  So what did I do?  I ran inside like a lunatic, water bottle flailing around, and yelled out for my husband to come to my rescue so that I wouldn’t be late!  He went outside, put the key in the lock, unlocked the door manually and said, “The locks are probably frozen shut.”  Duh…what an idiot I am.  So I went on my merry way, reminding myself of what an idiot I am.

What’s my point? 

My point is that I definitely have plenty of time on my hands, yet I still feel like I just can’t ‘get it together’.  Have you ever felt this way?  It’s as if my mind is everywhere, all the time.  Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about our Christmas Eve plans and he told me that we had already discussed what we would and would not attend.  Oh, we did?  It’s like my brain is scrambled.  And I’m not enjoying it.  I need to take a deep breath, organize my thoughts (and myself) and move on. 

Any tips on how to get myself together??  Please share.

P.S. - Tonight @ 7 I have a 4 week follow up with my OB/GYN.  I’m not so sure what we will be discussing since I only just finished my 2nd round of Clomid, but it makes me feel confidant about the whole situation when we meet with him.  Wish me luck!

I was doing some Christmas shopping on Amazon and was looking for traction spikes to buy for my brother.  For those of you that don’t know what these are, they are spikes that you strap onto your shoes when you’re fishing out on the rocks at the beach; to avoid slipping and falling.  In my search for these spikes, the following item turned up:

 Is it just me, or does this look like it could do more harm that good?  Just a thought.

As I mentioned a few days ago, my husband’s Holiday Party is this Tuesday.  Every year for the past few years the company has hosted the event at Delmonico’s Steakhouse (Downtown, Manhattan); the food is just incredible, and the décor exquisite.  It’s always a nice time and I enjoy the night out to let loose in the city.  Besides, red wine always tastes better when it’s sipped out of a glass at an expensive restaurant.

Being the typical female that I am, I have nothing to wear, and of course I have waited until the 11th hour to try and find something and then stress out because, “What if I don’t find anything?”  So my husband tells me to put my game face on and pull my attitude together, because we’re going shopping.  I have to say when it comes to shopping and style, my husband is way better at it then me.  He works in the city and rides the rain every day so he sees what’s out there.  Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion…I’m just not very good at it.  Today, I tell myself I will be open to trying anything on and I will find something immediately…trying to pump myself up a bit here. 

After hitting the first 3 stores I frequent and turning up nothing, we try our luck in Bloomingdales.  I ventured around all throughout the store and spotted it…a simple dark gray jumper dress!  My goal all along was to get a simple tunic style dress and pair it with tights and black knee boots.  I grab the one dress in my size, journey to the fitting room, and voila!  THAT SIMPLE!  Never is it that simple.  I have to say my husband was rather impressed.  After all, I did it all by myself!  Now I just have to grab a simple black ruched turtleneck to go under the dress and I’ll be set with covering my bod.

Then we move onto look for black boots.  We stop in Steve Madden and I find the perfect pair immediately.  I take it to the counter and ask to try my size…a petite size 10.  Usually it is impossible for me to find shoes in a size 10, they only carry smaller styles.  But not today.  Today is the day that they only have a size 10, and it’s the boot on display!  It must be my lucky day.

I carry my size 10’s over to the bench and sit to try them on when my husband says, “I think the zipper goes on the inside.”  Blowing his comments off, I put them on and zip them up- up the outside.  Now I know I’ve lost some weight over the past few months, but could it be that a size 10 is now too big for my foot?  My husband tells me “walk around the store a bit, see how they feel”, and I do.  Something is awry and I just can’t put my finger on it, but I just feel like they are very loose around my ankles.  I keep telling him, “Eric, I feel like I’m very wobbly, I don’t think this will be good for my ankles.”  Now I’m bothered because I love them and this is the only pair they have!  Everything looks like they fit perfect, they just don’t feel right.  My husband says again, “I’m pretty sure the zippers go on the inside.”   “No, this is just how these boots are, jeez!” I tell him.  I continue to walk around the store and look in the mirror and I just don’t get it.  After the 3rd time of my husband telling me that he thinks I have them on the wrong feet, I decide to give it a whirl and try switching them; let me just appease him.   I sit, take them off, switch them, and you can probably guess the rest…they fit like a glove.  Ask me why my stubborn ass didn’t listen to him in the first place.  Once again he has proved his fashion genius.  So you wanna see?

Of course after coming home, I checked to see if I could’ve found the same things elsewhere for less money.  Amazon.com has a dress extremely similar to the one I purchased at Bloomingdales, and it’s 75% cheaper!  The boots can be found on Amazon as well, for about $30 cheaper.

Well folks I have taken my 3^rd Clomid pill as of this morning. And even if I wasn’t counting the days, I would still know exactly where I was in this game because of my symptoms…yes, THEY’RE BACK! Already.

As I was making my bed (measuring the sheets to ensure they have equal hang- over length on each side like my OCD tells me to do) I noticed that my husband had an unusual pile of pajamas sitting on his night table. He is normally up before me during the week, so he showers and gets ready to leave for the train and then places his nighttime clothing on his night table, where I proceed to refold them to again satisfy my OCD and then place them under his pillows (which are also strategically placed). I digress. So as I’m refolding his clothing I notice there is a pair of pajama pants, a pair of socks, a short sleeve shirt, a thin long sleeve shirt and a heavier long sleeve shirt. WTF?? Here I am sleeping naked, and he’s bundled up like he’s waiting for the Polar Express to pick him up!

When he gets home form work later that night I question him on his ridiculous sleeping attire and he tells me that he has to wear so many layers because he freezes at night. And here I am sleeping naked because I get so hot that I sweat to the point of having to flip my pillow over, not to mention that I have totally freaked myself out thinking I may have wet the bed! EWWW. Then I get to thinking…dangerous, I know…it’s the hormones. I mean I’m taking synthetic hormones to make myself ovulate. And one of the side effects of Clomid is night sweats. There you have it. I won’t mention the other side effects I have, like headaches, mood swings…sorry. But yeah, they are here.

This is probably going to sound extremely vain, but the one side effect I was blessed with on the other 2 cycles of Clomid is the one I’m most concerned about. Acne! Enough already, I’m 26 and I still have to stress about breakouts? I thought this would be done like 8 years ago. This happens to come at the perfect time, when I have my husband’s holiday party next Tuesday evening. At least this gives me about 5 days to rub my face with alcohol day and night to try and get rid of these little critters. JOY!

But then I think to myself, this is all for the best reason! I will gladly go through whatever it takes to give my husband the title of “Daddy”. Often that’s much more important to me, than me having the title of “Mommy”. Cheers to us!

My oh my how time seems to fly lately! I mean, It feel like just yesterday we were decorating our Christmas tree, and Christmas is already only TWO weeks away! Two weeks from today actually! You know what else today is? Today is cycle day 5 for me…which means that I started taking Clomid today. I will continue to take 1- 50mg tablet everyday through Saturday (cycle day 9). Then starting on Monday 12/17, I will begin using the ovulation predictor kit to make sure the Clomid is working!

I’ve also heard some amazing things about Pre-Seed as well and just may try it this cycle. You see when you take Clomid, it can create a hostile environment for sperm (at a time when you want to make it as cozy as is humanly possible up in there). Pre-Seed helps create this ‘cozy’ environment for the sperm so they have an easier time getting to and then tackling our egg (s).

So realizing just how close Christmas is, I’ve decided to start my Christmas shopping. Yes you read that right; I’ve decided to S-T-A-R-T my shopping. Actually I’ve just began looking around at what to buy for whom. During this ‘looking’ stage, I decided to look on Amazon.com. Now I wasn’t born yesterday and I know that Amazon has everything, yet I never really knew just how amazing and cheap Amazon is!

If you still have Holiday shopping to do…I urge you to look over to the right where you will see the Amazon search box, type in a product that you are interested in and search for it. I am sure you will find it much cheaper here than you will anywhere else!

Happy Shopping!

I thought it would be appropriate to touch on the subject of diet and exercise while trying to conceive. Besides both being an absolute necessity in the effort to live a long healthy life, exercise is also a GREAT stress reliever. As if the stress of not being able to conceive as easily as you’d like isn’t stressful enough, this added stress is most likely playing a huge role in your struggles as well!

Chances are if you read 10 different websites on the subject of weight loss while trying to conceive, 5 of those websites will tell you it’s not the best idea and 5 will tell you its absolutely imperative. Why is it so important? Because as numerous studies have shown, your inability to become pregnant may be largely attributed to your Body Mass Index (BMI). For those of you who are unsure of how to calculate your BMI, you can use this simple formula:

BMI= ( Weight in Pounds / ( Height in inches ) x ( Height in inches ) ) x 703

A BMI between 20 and 24 is considered “normal”. While a BMI under 20 is considered “underweight” and over 24 “overweight”. If you fall into the “underweight” or “overweight” category, you are more likely to have trouble with ovulatory infertility (trouble getting pregnant due to ovulation disorders) than women with a “normal” BMI.

Let me explain…

If you are overweight, normal menstrual cycles can be interrupted; ovulation may be thrown off or cease all together! Women who do not ovulate do not release a mature egg every month, and instead, may release an egg erratically or not at all. This obviously makes pregnancy difficult and can result in infertility. Being overweight decreases your chances of successful in vitro fertilization and other assisted reproductive technologies. It can also increase your chances of miscarriage, puts you at risk of developing pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure) and/ or diabetes during pregnancy, and heightens your chances of needing a C- section. Obviously being overweight puts your baby at risk as well. As you can see there are many difficulties associated with being overweight.

Infertility due to ovulation disorders may be overcome and/ or prevented if you can make just a few simple lifestyle modifications:

1- Eating healthy proteins
2- Consuming complex, rather than processed carbs,
3- Targeting the right fats
4- Increasing your physical activity

Aside from the obvious benefits weight loss has overall, starting and maintaining a healthy regimen now can allow you to be able to continue exercise throughout pregnancy. And lets not forget about the HUGE PLUS of being able to lose the baby weight that much faster! While you shouldn’t try to lose weight once you become pregnant, you and your baby will definitely benefit from exercise and a healthy diet. Still need convincing? I didn’t think so!

You may be asking yourself “Where do I start?” Well, if you’re looking for a safe and effective weight loss strategy to help jumpstart your weight loss and get fit for you and your future baby, I highly recommend the Jillian Michaels free weight loss program. She is most recognized for her role as personal trainer on TV’s “The Biggest Loser”. Just look at her body…she has been an inspiration to me and when I don’t feel up to going to the gym, all I have to do is look at her picture and I’m out the door! She is quite impressive to say the least. I really encourage you to check out her free program, and I’m telling you if you follow her plan, you will lose the weight and achieve a healthy BMI.

Here’s to many 2008 babies!!

**Always consult with your physician before starting any new exercise program.**

Today must be my lucky day as it is officially cycle day 1! Yup, this morning I finally got my period….and it was sooooo overdue. I made it to cycle day 38…who does that??!! Its funny how just a week ago I was hoping not to get it, obviously praying that I was pregnant, but now I’m thrilled that I did! Thrilled because this means I can start my next round of Clomid and we have our next ‘shot’ at having our baby. I will start the Clomid, 50mg, on day 5 and continue through day 9.

I’ve also been taking the Provera since Tuesday, so today would have been the 4th day taking it. Not sure if I should continue taking it, I called my doctors office. The nurse answered the phone and this is how the conversation went:

Nurse- “Good Morning, Dr. Vagina’s office (obviously not his real name). How can I help you?”
Me- “Good morning. I was just calling with a quick question.”
Nurse- “Sure, go ahead!”
Me- “I started Provera on Tuesday to bring on my period and I got it this morning. My question is, should I take the last 2 pills of the Provera or can I discontinue it at this time?”
Nurse- “Hmmm…that’s a really good question. I’m going to have to get back to you on that one. Let me take your information and I’ll call you right back.”
Me- “Ok, Great!”
Nurse- “What’s your name, hun?”
Me- “Brandy…”
Nurse (before I could say my last name)- Oh,Brandy S________?”
Me- “Ut-oh…I’ve officially become that patient haven’t I!!?? I know I call like every day, but….”
Nurse- “No, no, no, not at all. I’ll find out and give you a call right back, ok?”
Me- “Ok, thanks so much.”
Nurse- “Ok, Bbye”
Me- “Bbye”

Ugh! I HAVE officially become that patient. Oh well…there just has to be someone who calls their OB/GYN more than I do. Like all the pregnant women out there! But I guess that only means that I will be even more obsessive with their phone number once I am pregnant too. Well, all I can say is good luck to them…Hahahahaha!

Long story short, I can stop the Provera now. GOOD! This stuff is potent…Every time I take it I end up being mistaken for a 14 year old pubescent teen. My face gets greasy, I break out all over the place; it gets ugly folks. Not to mention the night sweats. Oh the night sweats. I have enough of them when I take the Clomid. So I’m hoping since I cut the treatment short I won’t have to worry about these terrible side effects. After all, no body wants to be ugly at Christmas time. Nobody!

The cramps suck. And I am bleeding. But who cares…We’re back in the game! Wooo hoooo!

Today is cycle day 38 and my period was yet another no show…I have to say this is getting quite old now. From all my symptoms, I should have gotten it about 3 days ago. I have to say I am definitely not feeling “myself”. I can’t really put my finger on it. Maybe it’s just because I have baby on the brain…who knows. At any rate, I have decided I will bite the bullet and take yet ANOTHER pregnancy test. I’m telling you, I should really own First Response by now! I will test tomorrow morning again to see if a second line decides to show itself. I will proceed to conduct this test immediately before leaving for the gym for my 6a.m. training session, so that I can work out my frustrations if the result happens to be negative….AGAIN. Do you think I’m crazy yet?

Regardless, do me a favor in the meantime…

** Wish me luck
** Keep your fingers crossed
** Maybe knock some wood
** Include me in your prayers

…and all that jazz! Thanks a bunch!!

I’m about to run up to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions for Provera and Clomid. Today is cycle day 36 and the period fairy did not pay me a visit. I just want to start my next cycle sooner than later so that I can start my next round of Clomid. Is that too much to ask? My boobs are sore, I’m extremely cranky and my husband is sick to boot. I hate when he’s not feeling well, it’s no fun when he’s not his usual silly self.

The one concern I had about starting the Provera was that if I am destined to get my period on my own, will taking the Provera only delay it? In other words, normally when I take the Provera, I take it for 5 days and then anywhere between 5 and 12 days after I take my last pill I will withdraw. So I didn’t know if I would actually be pushing my period off. To my relief, I do not have to worry about it. The doctor told me that it could only make me get it that much sooner due to the added progesterone in my system.

While I’m out, I think I’ll stop to pick myself up some hot chocolate too! Some rich, creamy, delicious hot chocolate. Why? Because, damn- it, I deserve it!! And because with the wind chill it’s only about 10 degrees outside….Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Ok…so today is cycle day 35! And still nothing but huge sore boobs! So sore that when I was doing my chest presses in sculpting class this afternoon, my body bar got a little too close for comfort, I could’ve wailed out in pain.

If you remember from an earlier post, I was to take another pregnancy test this morning had I not gotten my period and if that was negative, and then call the doctor for Provera to bring it on.

1. I didn’t get my period,
2. I tested and it was negative,
3. I called the doctor.

They want me to speak directly with the doctor but he will not be in until tomorrow around 11a.m. so I will try back then. In the meantime, I won’t let anything but the tight 100% cotton from a sports bra touch my boobs.

Which reminds me: Have you ever been putting on your sports bra, and in an effort to put one arm through and pull it over the opposite shoulder, the unthinkable happens…it snaps on your nipple so hard you want to scream?? Well I’m so afraid that is going to happen to me! And I keep my fingers crossed every time I put one on, which only puts me at greater risk. Oh boy.

This morning I woke up to a beautiful coating of fresh snow on the ground, and it hasn’t stopped yet! Have I told you how much I love the snow…as long as there is nowhere I have to be by a certain time. Today is definitely a lazy day for my husband and me. All the Christmas decorations are now up and all we have to do is enjoy them!

I also woke up with the reminder that I still have not gotten my period! I don’t get it. Although I can now say that my boobs have at least doubled in size, which I of course love. But they hurt like all hell, so they aren’t doing me as much good as I’d like. So we still sit and wait…I kind of feel like that’s all I’ve been doing for the past 3 weeks now- waiting. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I ALWAYS leave the house, prepared to get my period. You know, with 30 tampons squished into my small 10×5, I don’t have children yet, size bag. I think next time I go out, I will remove them all. This is a surefire way to my period; at the most inopportune time, while I am completely unprepared and standing on the longest line in a ridiculously crowded store, with no basket or cart (because I thought I only needed a few things)! That’s it. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll let you now how that goes.

Last night one of my girlfriends came over and we noshed on cheese & crackers and fresh veggies and dip while we laughed hysterically over National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation . I don’t think I will ever get sick of that movie…it’s a Christmastime tradition! It was nice to more or less “forget” about my goings on for a few hours. It’s funny how it’s always on your mind, but I guess how could it not be, right?

Well first thing yesterday morning I called my doctors office to let the doctor know that I am now on cycle day 31, and I still hadn’t gotten my period. If you remember, my doctor wanted to do a blood test by 11/28, cycle day 30, if I hadn’t seen my period. I gave it an extra day…just in case. They had me come down to the office to have blood drawn and ordered the results STAT.

I called the office again last night around 7pm to see if the results happened to be in yet, and they told me to call back around 1pm today (28 hours later- not too STAT to me). Now just a little something I need to get off of my chest:

The last thousand times I have had blood work done I’ve gone directly to the lab in the hospital which is about a 90 second drive, actually the same distance as the doctors office but the opposite direction. When I called the office yesterday morning, they insisted I come down to the office instead and they would take care of it. Fine. The only thing is that when I called last night for the STAT results, they said the lab hadn’t even picked the specimen up yet. What??!! So me feeling like I had to be difficult I said “Usually I go right to the hospital for my blood work and the results are back the same day.” So the nurse goes on to say “Oh, you should have gone there and they would have just sent us the results.” Hello! I know this! This was the point I was trying to make this morning when I was told to come down in the first place. I knew that going to the office to get blood drawn meant that they would have to send it out. Whatever, I’m not going to argue the point, I just want to know…Positive? Or not?

So being as impatient as I am, I called the office at 12noon for the results. You know the extra hour would have just killed me! So I called, and she happened to have the results right in front of her. Drumroooooll please……The results came back negative. Instantly my heart hurt really badly. I had been thinking up creative ways to break the wonderful news to my husband for weeks now. I was speaking to the doctors wife, whom I love! She has been through a lot herself to get pregnant and did finally become a mommy, so she is very inspiring and has a comforting way about her.

On the call she apologized that I didn’t get the news I had hoped for, and went on to talk with me for a bit. I explained my symptoms to her. I told her that today my boobs are so sore, but they have not grown at all, which is not typical. I also let her know I have terrible cramps, cramps that started yesterday mid morning and haven’t let up. Normally I don’t get these types of cramps until after I get my period. She said it is likely I will get my period any day with those types of symptoms. And here I was convincing myself they were the early symptoms of pregnancy. Ho Hum.

She then said that the other possibility is that I may not have ovulated until later than I thought, and I may have just interpreted the ovulation predictor kit incorrectly. She also referred to the sonogram I had on 11/14, cycle day 16, which showed a dominant follicle. Basically, she recommended that I wait it out until Monday to see if I get my period on my own. If I still do not get it by then, she told me to take another test and to only use First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test. If I get a negative result, a prescription for Provera will be called into my pharmacy. This will induce my period and will then be able to start my second Clomid cycle.

So to recap, if I get my period on my own by Monday, great! That would mean that I did ovulate but we did not hit it right…literally. If I do not get my period by Monday and have a negative pregnancy test, I will start Provera immediately to induce my next cycle.

I am off to go make some coffee…caffeinated coffee. Cheers!