Today is the big day!  Yep, 2pm is my consultation with the fertility specialist.  My mind and body are consumed with so many different emotions right now…I’m anxious, fearful, hopeful, and excited- just to name a few.  Last night my anxiety got the best of me and I was having a hard time breathing, that happens sometimes when I’m overly stressed; whether I’m conscious of my stress or not.  The only thing I can try and compare the feeling too, is having a cinder block sitting on my chest.  Of course I have never had the experience of having a cinder block on my chest, but you understand what I mean.  If a cinder block where ever to be sitting on my chest, I’d imagine it would feel similar to my difficulty breathing.

So I laid on my couch reading the latest issue of Revenue Magazine, listening to SoundScapes on cable….Dork.  But it worked!  Before I knew it I was feeling better.  However, I can definitely feel that feeling coming back again today, and am trying everything in my power to keep it at bay. 

I heard that this place gives complimentary massage while you wait as well.  Yippee!  If this is what it takes to get a “free” massage, then OK. I’ve seen pictures of the facility and it is HUGE!  It’s like a small hospital.  They do everything there.  They even have chiropractic care, yoga, acupuncture and massage; besides the typical therapy, counseling and the obvious- the embryo lab and IUI and IVF departments. I’m hopeful that we will be able to make this work with medication only, but we will not rule out IUI or IVF if those were our only options.

Also, something I thought was pretty neat…a friend of ours that initially had a hard time conceiving their first child, is in the hospital being induced with their third today (their 2nd boy)!  I thought it was just kind of coincidental, as she even brought up, me seeing the specialist for the first time today while she is in the hospital giving birth.  It’s like we are both hitting 2 major milestones.  Did I lose you there?  As you will start to notice, I tend to think a lot more into things than ‘normal’ people.For anybody else who has gone this route of seeing a specialist, or for those whom it took longer to conceive naturally than would have thought, I would love to hear from you!  How were you feeling during the process, what emotions consumed you?  Did you discuss it with family or keep it to yourselves?  I look forward to hearing from you!

Wish me luck!