This morning as I was driving home from the gym, I got this overwhelming feeling of paranoia.  “What is this feeling?” I asked myself.  “And why, out of nowhere, has it consumed me like I feel the need to consume a giant home baked chocolate chip cookie?”  Then it hit me.  Tonight is Eric’s holiday party and I will be wearing tights underneath my dress.  I should state that I am by no means a stocking person.  I try to avoid wearing them at all costs; they just aren’t comfortable.  But I will wear tights, if the outfit calls for it.  So, knowing that in a few hours I would have to perform the tedious task of appending them to my legs, anxiety became me. 

“Why?” you are probably asking yourself.  Well every time I have to put on tights (or stockings) I fear that a vicious hang nail or piece of dry skin will jut out from one of my fingertips and snag the material, leaving me with holy tights!  And then I would be shit out of luck, as I only have this one pair of black tights.  A simple solution would be to make sure I have a back up pair, but who am I to make my life easier by ensuring my sanity with a simple solution.  So, at approximately 4pm, I will be carefully maneuvering this task; making sure I do not end up with holy tights. 

Of course as I write this, I also fear that I am jinxing myself by talking about it and making it known to the universe that I have this fear. 

Who thinks I’m crazy?  Who can totally relate?