As much as I absolutely LOVE the holidays, I think I am ready for it to be over.  Why?  Because it is barely an understatement to say that I have eaten anything and everything that has come into my sight over the past 2 ½ weeks.   With all the holiday get- togethers and the 3 day Christmas celebration, I am officially full.  So much so that coffee is turning me off.  And I love coffee, so there’s always room for it. 

I never keep junk food in the house because it would be a huge danger.  My husband and I don’t eat it unless we decide to have dessert when we go out to dinner or if we are somewhere where dessert is being served; that’s just rude to not eat dessert at someone’s home!  Hehehe.  Anyway, keeping it in the house would mean that I would have to eat it ALL so that it would no loner be in the house. For this reason, we simply don’t buy it.  Well in the past 2 ½ weeks I have eaten my fair share of dessert and I won’t even say that I have eaten terribly unhealthy food (I am very conscious of what I put into my body) but I have definitely overindulged on a lot of healthy food too.  Either way, more calories in than calories out means extra poundage.  And I can feel it.  Although we plan on having a wonderful meal with dear friends of ours at their home tomorrow evening and I am sure I will not hold back on my urge to consume loads of her famous tomato and mozzarella…I don’t know what she does to it, but it’s flippin’ delicious!!

As I’ve mentioned before, back in September I started training with a trainer and really dialed my diet into perfection, which overall helped me lose over 10 lbs!  And everyone knows that without dialing in your diet, you can work out till the cows come home, but you will never get the results you desire.  The thing that helped me the most was journaling my food.  All of it.  Every single thing I put into my mouth.  Doing this helps you stay disciplined and keeps you on the track to losing weight and staying healthy.  And contrary to popular belief…it takes only minutes a day.  So ask me why I stopped.  All this holiday craziness and all the wonderful food to be eaten, I completely stopped.  It’s a damn good thing that it’s time to write down New Years resolutions because this will be number one on my list, to start journaling my food again.  If you’ve never tried it, I encourage you too; you’ll thank me later!

My husband started me on this great tradition.  Every year since he can remember he has sat down and written out his goals for the New Year.  He will list them all out and then go back and plan out just how he will achieve these goals.  I started doing it myself and it is great!  It gives you something to look forward to for the year and is a huge motivator.  It also makes you dig deep into yourself to find out what it is you want to achieve in the upcoming year…it’s a NEW YEAR people…anything is possible.  And if you don’t already take part in an activity like this, I encourage you to try this as well…You may just surprise yourself and accomplish something you never though possible.  It’s all out there to be had.  You just need to figure out how.

With all that said…

“Out with the old and in with the new”.  So cliché, yet so true! 

See…I’m a poet and you didn’t even know it…

Upon the visit to my OB/Gyn last week, my doctor again told me that he only wanted to have me on three cycles of Clomid.  In the past he has said that since I’m young and healthy, there should be no reason that I shouldn’t be pregnant within 6 months, and we would use the Clomid to sort of “jump start” my system.  He then told me that he would have me complete this current Clomid cycle, if I don’t get pregnant schedule an appt to see the specialist and conserve the third round of Clomid for a possible IUI with the specialist.

Two days ago, 12/26, I called the office to let them know that I haven’t detected my LH surge and let them know I had been testing since cycle day 11, at their recommendation.  I questioned whether or not the doctor would want me to go for an ultrasound to see if any follicles were maturing.  At that moment the doctor had called in and the nurse checked with him.  He said if I hadn’t detected my surge by now, cycle day 20, I was not going to ovulate this month and I should go ahead with scheduling the appt with the specialist.  Big step.  The nurse (the doctor’s wife) kept me on the phone for about 20 minutes making sure I was alright and discussing with me in detail what she had been through, at a much older age; basically what I could expect.

So I called the specialist and scheduled my appt.  I was shocked that I was offered an appt. with the specialist my OB/Gyn requested I see, almost immediately.  Their first available was 1/8, not bad, only 2 weeks away.  I figured I’d have to wait a month or so.

So my husband and I will go for our consultation on 1/8.  I need to gather all my records from all the testing I’ve endured over the past 6 months and march in there hoping I will not have to do everything all over again.  The last thing I want is to have to spend another 2-3 months going through more testing, which will only further delay our dream.  I do however realize that whatever has to be done is obviously for a reason, and whatever it takes, we will do.

This entire situation has definitely taken a bit of a toll on my husband and me.  I couldn’t help but to break down after hanging up with the specialist’s office.  I never thought it would come down to this; I’ve sworn it would be our month, every month for the past 6 months.  I’ll never forget the feeling of the life draining from my body the first time the doctor’s office called with the results of my very first beta HCG; negative.  And then the second call, the third, fourth and the most recent just last month, again, negative.  I guess all this work will only make it that much more special when it’s finally positive.

I welcome all of you to share your stories.

It’s been a few days since I last posted…a few C-R-A-Z-Y days.  The Christmas festivities started Sunday, and came to a close late last night.  I’m tired!  How about you?

From the opening ceremonies to the closing, and all the games in between, Christmas 2007 was terrific!  Many great gifts were given as well as received (My husband upgraded my LG cell to an iPhone!) and most importantly, much quality time was spent with great family and friends.  What more can one ask for?
So our itinerary was as follows:

Christmas Eve eve:

3pm- Mom and Dad’s for dinner with Mom’s family

Christmas Eve:

11am- Brunch & presents at my In-laws
4pm- Grandma’s house for dinner
8:30pm- Mom and Dad’s house for presents with my immediate family

Christmas Day:

3pm- In-laws for Christmas dinner (both my husbands family and my family celebrate holidays all together…makes things so much easier!)
I have to say I was definitely the least prepared/organized for Christmas this year than any other year in the past.  Listen to this…

Scotch Tape was a hot commodity Sunday night because both my husband and I needed to wrap our gifts for each other/everyone else!  I purposely bought another roll of tape at the store on Friday so that we would each have our respective tape rolls to be wrapping gifts at the same time (we ran into this dilemma last year, ran to the store for more tape- only to leave it behind on the counter!).  I however failed to check that the roll of tape we already had in the drawer actually had tape left on it (as my husband reminded me).  Of course it didn’t, so I ended up handing over super long pieces of tape so hubby could get his wrapping done.  Come 11pm, I was shot!  I had wrapped everyone else’s gift except for his.  No big deal, I’d take care of that in the morning, Christmas Eve morning.

The morning is here and I force myself out of bed to get to the gym for my 6am sculpting class so I could then get to Kohl’s when they opened at 7!  I had just a few little things left to pick up.  After taking care of these last little details, I raced home to wrap hubby’s gifts (I only had 2 hours before we had to be at his parents for brunch) only to run out of wrapping paper!  Now I didn’t just have a few cheesy rolls of paper.  I’m big into wrapping paper and buy in bulk from Costco.  Plus, I had bought another one at the store that morning to make sure I had plenty.  Well plenty wasn’t enough.  So when our Christmas Eve festivities were complete at 11pm, there I was, still wrapping. 

To top it off, I baked cookies Christmas morning to bring to my in-laws and when trying to cover them up, ran out of saran wrap!  I never run out of saran wrap.  So I get the aluminum foil out, and run out of that too!  WTF?  I always have back up boxes so that I don’t run out. 

I don’t think I’ve ever run out of so many things over the course of 2 days in my life.  It was funny, although you probably had to be there.

To top it off, today I was the crazy ass that went to the mall to take care of exchanges.  Needless to say I am ready for a little vaca.  I think I will be going to bed shortly!

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!  Now we gear up for the New Year festivities…Although we do not have any plans as of yet.  What will you be doing this New Years?  I would love to hear your plans!

Revision:  I forgot to mention…I ran out of Christmas cards a few weeks ago too!  Apparently I underestimated just how popular many cards my husband and I would be sending out :o} 

This morning I woke bright and early, tiptoed out of my bedroom so as not to wake my husband (or my dogs) and went to the bathroom to suit up for my training session and pee on a stick.  That’s right, today’s cycle day 15…already!  And as per the doctor, I’ve been testing for my LH surge every day since cycle day 11, which was Monday 12/17. 

I’m using the Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Test because they are literally fool proof!  And I need fool proof.  All other tests require you to differentiate between two lines, the control and the test.  You need to be responsible enough to distinguish whether the test line is there, if it’s lighter, the same or darker than the control line.  Apparently I’m just not responsible enough to do this.  I want to see the test line equal to or darker than the control, therefore I think I see the test line equal to or darker than the control.  Not good.  After all, accuracy is kind of important in this game.

This test is fool proof because you have this little electronic monitor stick thing and 7 test sticks.  You open the test stick, remove the cap and insert it into the monitor.  You will see a little test stick appear on the digital screen and you know the test it ready to be peed on.  After you give it a 7 second shower, you will see the test stick symbol on the screen start flashing, which means its working.  Set it down, come back (or hover over watching obsessively like a hawk does its prey) 3 minutes later you will either see a smiley face or an empty circle.  What could be easier than that?  See, foolproof.  And MUCH cheaper than an actual fertility monitor.

Needless to say, I have not seen a smiley face yet, which means that a 28 day cycle is out of the question for me this time around.  Although I really don’t care about that; I mean, I’d prefer a 28 day cycle to a 45 day cycle, but the goal here is to even just ovulate.  So I continue testing until I see a smile. 

Happy Friday everyone!  Only 3 more full days of shopping…get your asses in gear!

Can you believe Christmas is 5 days away?  I can’t.  It crept up so quickly; quicker than it ever has before.  Sigh.

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year.  I love the lights.  I love the feel.  I love giving gifts, I love getting gifts.  I love everything about it.  I even love last minute shopping, because the closer we get to Christmas, the more it feels like Christmas.  Of course the downside to this is all the Fucking nut jobs out there…but I try not to let them bring me down.  I say please and thank you, spread my holiday cheer and hope it absolutely kills them inside that I am in such a great holiday mood when they are anything but.

By the time Christmas Eve rolls around, I have already spontaneously transformed back into a 5 year old.  After all, Santa’s coming!  I will even admit that I still “believe” in Santa Clause.  How could you not?  Try it one year…I guarantee Christmas will be that much more magical for you! 

So, want to know what my biggest stressor is right now?  Ready to laugh and tell me how ridiculous I am?  I don’t want my husband to see his Christmas gifts under the tree until Christmas morning when we wake up and come downstairs together.  Why?  Because I want it to be just like when we were kids and you would wake up and run out to the tree to ohhh and ahhhh over the sight of all the gifts!  A simple solution would be to put his gifts under the tree after he’s already gone to bed.  Yeah, great, I’ve thought of this already.  The problem with this method of delivery is that I would then end up seeing my gifts that he put under the tree for me.  And I don’t want to see them until Christmas morning; remember, wake up Christmas morning and ohhh and ahhhh over all the gifts?  So now you understand my ridiculous issue.  I’ll figure it out.  Maybe we will blindfold eachother and just scatter all the gifts under the tree at the same.  Yeah, I think that’ll work!

I’m basically finished shopping.  I had an unfortunate event occur while standing on line at a store today…one of my bottom molar teeth broke, so in an absolute panic, I put the items down and left.  I didn’t know if I was going to break out in terrible pain or what.  Needless to say I definitely feel like I have a nerve exposed and will be visiting my least favorite place tonight; the dentist.  I actually prefer flashing my vagina at the GYN’s office over going to the dentist…THAT’S how much I dislike the goings on at the dentist. 

Anyway…I have gotten just about everything I had on my list to get, except for one thing that I had hoped to give my husband.  See, I really thought that we would be pregnant by now and dreamed of everyway possible to tell him this great news.  I had so many ideas of how I would have told him, in the form of early Christmas gifts, but it looks like I will have to store them away for when that time actually comes.  If things work out for us in the next few months, we may have a perfect little present just in time for next Christmas! 

This morning as I was driving home from the gym, I got this overwhelming feeling of paranoia.  “What is this feeling?” I asked myself.  “And why, out of nowhere, has it consumed me like I feel the need to consume a giant home baked chocolate chip cookie?”  Then it hit me.  Tonight is Eric’s holiday party and I will be wearing tights underneath my dress.  I should state that I am by no means a stocking person.  I try to avoid wearing them at all costs; they just aren’t comfortable.  But I will wear tights, if the outfit calls for it.  So, knowing that in a few hours I would have to perform the tedious task of appending them to my legs, anxiety became me. 

“Why?” you are probably asking yourself.  Well every time I have to put on tights (or stockings) I fear that a vicious hang nail or piece of dry skin will jut out from one of my fingertips and snag the material, leaving me with holy tights!  And then I would be shit out of luck, as I only have this one pair of black tights.  A simple solution would be to make sure I have a back up pair, but who am I to make my life easier by ensuring my sanity with a simple solution.  So, at approximately 4pm, I will be carefully maneuvering this task; making sure I do not end up with holy tights. 

Of course as I write this, I also fear that I am jinxing myself by talking about it and making it known to the universe that I have this fear. 

Who thinks I’m crazy?  Who can totally relate?

This morning as the alarm clock started belting out “Jingle Bell Rock” at 5:15, I quickly thrashed my hand down over the snooze button.  I had the alarm clock set to get up for my 6am sculpting class.  I was exhausted; I don’t know why, my biggest outing this past weekend was yesterday’s shopping trip.  The wind was howling outside and I just knew it was going to be rather ice cubish out there.  So I snoozed until 5:30.  This now meant that I had to get up, get dressed, wash up, put something light in my belly so I don’t pass out during walking lunges, and be out the door in 15 minutes.  If anybody knows me, I need more like 30.  Not because I’m difficult, just because I don’t like to rush.  I enjoy a multigrain English muffin toasted with some peanut butter before class and today I had to inhale some bran flakes with skim milk and it’s still repeating on me, in ways we won’t discuss.  Although I’m thinking this may be yet another Clomid side effect.

Anyway, I had also started my car as soon as I woke up so it would be uber toasty by the time I had to leave although when I tried to get in it, the doors wouldn’t open.  At first I thought the doors were frozen shut, but then I realized that they were not unlocking with my remote.  So what did I do?  I ran inside like a lunatic, water bottle flailing around, and yelled out for my husband to come to my rescue so that I wouldn’t be late!  He went outside, put the key in the lock, unlocked the door manually and said, “The locks are probably frozen shut.”  Duh…what an idiot I am.  So I went on my merry way, reminding myself of what an idiot I am.

What’s my point? 

My point is that I definitely have plenty of time on my hands, yet I still feel like I just can’t ‘get it together’.  Have you ever felt this way?  It’s as if my mind is everywhere, all the time.  Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about our Christmas Eve plans and he told me that we had already discussed what we would and would not attend.  Oh, we did?  It’s like my brain is scrambled.  And I’m not enjoying it.  I need to take a deep breath, organize my thoughts (and myself) and move on. 

Any tips on how to get myself together??  Please share.

P.S. - Tonight @ 7 I have a 4 week follow up with my OB/GYN.  I’m not so sure what we will be discussing since I only just finished my 2nd round of Clomid, but it makes me feel confidant about the whole situation when we meet with him.  Wish me luck!

I was doing some Christmas shopping on Amazon and was looking for traction spikes to buy for my brother.  For those of you that don’t know what these are, they are spikes that you strap onto your shoes when you’re fishing out on the rocks at the beach; to avoid slipping and falling.  In my search for these spikes, the following item turned up:

 Is it just me, or does this look like it could do more harm that good?  Just a thought.

As I mentioned a few days ago, my husband’s Holiday Party is this Tuesday.  Every year for the past few years the company has hosted the event at Delmonico’s Steakhouse (Downtown, Manhattan); the food is just incredible, and the décor exquisite.  It’s always a nice time and I enjoy the night out to let loose in the city.  Besides, red wine always tastes better when it’s sipped out of a glass at an expensive restaurant.

Being the typical female that I am, I have nothing to wear, and of course I have waited until the 11th hour to try and find something and then stress out because, “What if I don’t find anything?”  So my husband tells me to put my game face on and pull my attitude together, because we’re going shopping.  I have to say when it comes to shopping and style, my husband is way better at it then me.  He works in the city and rides the rain every day so he sees what’s out there.  Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion…I’m just not very good at it.  Today, I tell myself I will be open to trying anything on and I will find something immediately…trying to pump myself up a bit here. 

After hitting the first 3 stores I frequent and turning up nothing, we try our luck in Bloomingdales.  I ventured around all throughout the store and spotted it…a simple dark gray jumper dress!  My goal all along was to get a simple tunic style dress and pair it with tights and black knee boots.  I grab the one dress in my size, journey to the fitting room, and voila!  THAT SIMPLE!  Never is it that simple.  I have to say my husband was rather impressed.  After all, I did it all by myself!  Now I just have to grab a simple black ruched turtleneck to go under the dress and I’ll be set with covering my bod.

Then we move onto look for black boots.  We stop in Steve Madden and I find the perfect pair immediately.  I take it to the counter and ask to try my size…a petite size 10.  Usually it is impossible for me to find shoes in a size 10, they only carry smaller styles.  But not today.  Today is the day that they only have a size 10, and it’s the boot on display!  It must be my lucky day.

I carry my size 10’s over to the bench and sit to try them on when my husband says, “I think the zipper goes on the inside.”  Blowing his comments off, I put them on and zip them up- up the outside.  Now I know I’ve lost some weight over the past few months, but could it be that a size 10 is now too big for my foot?  My husband tells me “walk around the store a bit, see how they feel”, and I do.  Something is awry and I just can’t put my finger on it, but I just feel like they are very loose around my ankles.  I keep telling him, “Eric, I feel like I’m very wobbly, I don’t think this will be good for my ankles.”  Now I’m bothered because I love them and this is the only pair they have!  Everything looks like they fit perfect, they just don’t feel right.  My husband says again, “I’m pretty sure the zippers go on the inside.”   “No, this is just how these boots are, jeez!” I tell him.  I continue to walk around the store and look in the mirror and I just don’t get it.  After the 3rd time of my husband telling me that he thinks I have them on the wrong feet, I decide to give it a whirl and try switching them; let me just appease him.   I sit, take them off, switch them, and you can probably guess the rest…they fit like a glove.  Ask me why my stubborn ass didn’t listen to him in the first place.  Once again he has proved his fashion genius.  So you wanna see?

Of course after coming home, I checked to see if I could’ve found the same things elsewhere for less money.  Amazon.com has a dress extremely similar to the one I purchased at Bloomingdales, and it’s 75% cheaper!  The boots can be found on Amazon as well, for about $30 cheaper.

Well folks I have taken my 3^rd Clomid pill as of this morning. And even if I wasn’t counting the days, I would still know exactly where I was in this game because of my symptoms…yes, THEY’RE BACK! Already.

As I was making my bed (measuring the sheets to ensure they have equal hang- over length on each side like my OCD tells me to do) I noticed that my husband had an unusual pile of pajamas sitting on his night table. He is normally up before me during the week, so he showers and gets ready to leave for the train and then places his nighttime clothing on his night table, where I proceed to refold them to again satisfy my OCD and then place them under his pillows (which are also strategically placed). I digress. So as I’m refolding his clothing I notice there is a pair of pajama pants, a pair of socks, a short sleeve shirt, a thin long sleeve shirt and a heavier long sleeve shirt. WTF?? Here I am sleeping naked, and he’s bundled up like he’s waiting for the Polar Express to pick him up!

When he gets home form work later that night I question him on his ridiculous sleeping attire and he tells me that he has to wear so many layers because he freezes at night. And here I am sleeping naked because I get so hot that I sweat to the point of having to flip my pillow over, not to mention that I have totally freaked myself out thinking I may have wet the bed! EWWW. Then I get to thinking…dangerous, I know…it’s the hormones. I mean I’m taking synthetic hormones to make myself ovulate. And one of the side effects of Clomid is night sweats. There you have it. I won’t mention the other side effects I have, like headaches, mood swings…sorry. But yeah, they are here.

This is probably going to sound extremely vain, but the one side effect I was blessed with on the other 2 cycles of Clomid is the one I’m most concerned about. Acne! Enough already, I’m 26 and I still have to stress about breakouts? I thought this would be done like 8 years ago. This happens to come at the perfect time, when I have my husband’s holiday party next Tuesday evening. At least this gives me about 5 days to rub my face with alcohol day and night to try and get rid of these little critters. JOY!

But then I think to myself, this is all for the best reason! I will gladly go through whatever it takes to give my husband the title of “Daddy”. Often that’s much more important to me, than me having the title of “Mommy”. Cheers to us!

My oh my how time seems to fly lately! I mean, It feel like just yesterday we were decorating our Christmas tree, and Christmas is already only TWO weeks away! Two weeks from today actually! You know what else today is? Today is cycle day 5 for me…which means that I started taking Clomid today. I will continue to take 1- 50mg tablet everyday through Saturday (cycle day 9). Then starting on Monday 12/17, I will begin using the ovulation predictor kit to make sure the Clomid is working!

I’ve also heard some amazing things about Pre-Seed as well and just may try it this cycle. You see when you take Clomid, it can create a hostile environment for sperm (at a time when you want to make it as cozy as is humanly possible up in there). Pre-Seed helps create this ‘cozy’ environment for the sperm so they have an easier time getting to and then tackling our egg (s).

So realizing just how close Christmas is, I’ve decided to start my Christmas shopping. Yes you read that right; I’ve decided to S-T-A-R-T my shopping. Actually I’ve just began looking around at what to buy for whom. During this ‘looking’ stage, I decided to look on Amazon.com. Now I wasn’t born yesterday and I know that Amazon has everything, yet I never really knew just how amazing and cheap Amazon is!

If you still have Holiday shopping to do…I urge you to look over to the right where you will see the Amazon search box, type in a product that you are interested in and search for it. I am sure you will find it much cheaper here than you will anywhere else!

Happy Shopping!

I thought it would be appropriate to touch on the subject of diet and exercise while trying to conceive. Besides both being an absolute necessity in the effort to live a long healthy life, exercise is also a GREAT stress reliever. As if the stress of not being able to conceive as easily as you’d like isn’t stressful enough, this added stress is most likely playing a huge role in your struggles as well!

Chances are if you read 10 different websites on the subject of weight loss while trying to conceive, 5 of those websites will tell you it’s not the best idea and 5 will tell you its absolutely imperative. Why is it so important? Because as numerous studies have shown, your inability to become pregnant may be largely attributed to your Body Mass Index (BMI). For those of you who are unsure of how to calculate your BMI, you can use this simple formula:

BMI= ( Weight in Pounds / ( Height in inches ) x ( Height in inches ) ) x 703

A BMI between 20 and 24 is considered “normal”. While a BMI under 20 is considered “underweight” and over 24 “overweight”. If you fall into the “underweight” or “overweight” category, you are more likely to have trouble with ovulatory infertility (trouble getting pregnant due to ovulation disorders) than women with a “normal” BMI.

Let me explain…

If you are overweight, normal menstrual cycles can be interrupted; ovulation may be thrown off or cease all together! Women who do not ovulate do not release a mature egg every month, and instead, may release an egg erratically or not at all. This obviously makes pregnancy difficult and can result in infertility. Being overweight decreases your chances of successful in vitro fertilization and other assisted reproductive technologies. It can also increase your chances of miscarriage, puts you at risk of developing pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure) and/ or diabetes during pregnancy, and heightens your chances of needing a C- section. Obviously being overweight puts your baby at risk as well. As you can see there are many difficulties associated with being overweight.

Infertility due to ovulation disorders may be overcome and/ or prevented if you can make just a few simple lifestyle modifications:

1- Eating healthy proteins
2- Consuming complex, rather than processed carbs,
3- Targeting the right fats
4- Increasing your physical activity

Aside from the obvious benefits weight loss has overall, starting and maintaining a healthy regimen now can allow you to be able to continue exercise throughout pregnancy. And lets not forget about the HUGE PLUS of being able to lose the baby weight that much faster! While you shouldn’t try to lose weight once you become pregnant, you and your baby will definitely benefit from exercise and a healthy diet. Still need convincing? I didn’t think so!

You may be asking yourself “Where do I start?” Well, if you’re looking for a safe and effective weight loss strategy to help jumpstart your weight loss and get fit for you and your future baby, I highly recommend the Jillian Michaels free weight loss program. She is most recognized for her role as personal trainer on TV’s “The Biggest Loser”. Just look at her body…she has been an inspiration to me and when I don’t feel up to going to the gym, all I have to do is look at her picture and I’m out the door! She is quite impressive to say the least. I really encourage you to check out her free program, and I’m telling you if you follow her plan, you will lose the weight and achieve a healthy BMI.

Here’s to many 2008 babies!!

**Always consult with your physician before starting any new exercise program.**

Today must be my lucky day as it is officially cycle day 1! Yup, this morning I finally got my period….and it was sooooo overdue. I made it to cycle day 38…who does that??!! Its funny how just a week ago I was hoping not to get it, obviously praying that I was pregnant, but now I’m thrilled that I did! Thrilled because this means I can start my next round of Clomid and we have our next ‘shot’ at having our baby. I will start the Clomid, 50mg, on day 5 and continue through day 9.

I’ve also been taking the Provera since Tuesday, so today would have been the 4th day taking it. Not sure if I should continue taking it, I called my doctors office. The nurse answered the phone and this is how the conversation went:

Nurse- “Good Morning, Dr. Vagina’s office (obviously not his real name). How can I help you?”
Me- “Good morning. I was just calling with a quick question.”
Nurse- “Sure, go ahead!”
Me- “I started Provera on Tuesday to bring on my period and I got it this morning. My question is, should I take the last 2 pills of the Provera or can I discontinue it at this time?”
Nurse- “Hmmm…that’s a really good question. I’m going to have to get back to you on that one. Let me take your information and I’ll call you right back.”
Me- “Ok, Great!”
Nurse- “What’s your name, hun?”
Me- “Brandy…”
Nurse (before I could say my last name)- Oh,Brandy S________?”
Me- “Ut-oh…I’ve officially become that patient haven’t I!!?? I know I call like every day, but….”
Nurse- “No, no, no, not at all. I’ll find out and give you a call right back, ok?”
Me- “Ok, thanks so much.”
Nurse- “Ok, Bbye”
Me- “Bbye”

Ugh! I HAVE officially become that patient. Oh well…there just has to be someone who calls their OB/GYN more than I do. Like all the pregnant women out there! But I guess that only means that I will be even more obsessive with their phone number once I am pregnant too. Well, all I can say is good luck to them…Hahahahaha!

Long story short, I can stop the Provera now. GOOD! This stuff is potent…Every time I take it I end up being mistaken for a 14 year old pubescent teen. My face gets greasy, I break out all over the place; it gets ugly folks. Not to mention the night sweats. Oh the night sweats. I have enough of them when I take the Clomid. So I’m hoping since I cut the treatment short I won’t have to worry about these terrible side effects. After all, no body wants to be ugly at Christmas time. Nobody!

The cramps suck. And I am bleeding. But who cares…We’re back in the game! Wooo hoooo!

Today is cycle day 38 and my period was yet another no show…I have to say this is getting quite old now. From all my symptoms, I should have gotten it about 3 days ago. I have to say I am definitely not feeling “myself”. I can’t really put my finger on it. Maybe it’s just because I have baby on the brain…who knows. At any rate, I have decided I will bite the bullet and take yet ANOTHER pregnancy test. I’m telling you, I should really own First Response by now! I will test tomorrow morning again to see if a second line decides to show itself. I will proceed to conduct this test immediately before leaving for the gym for my 6a.m. training session, so that I can work out my frustrations if the result happens to be negative….AGAIN. Do you think I’m crazy yet?

Regardless, do me a favor in the meantime…

** Wish me luck
** Keep your fingers crossed
** Maybe knock some wood
** Include me in your prayers

…and all that jazz! Thanks a bunch!!

I’m about to run up to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions for Provera and Clomid. Today is cycle day 36 and the period fairy did not pay me a visit. I just want to start my next cycle sooner than later so that I can start my next round of Clomid. Is that too much to ask? My boobs are sore, I’m extremely cranky and my husband is sick to boot. I hate when he’s not feeling well, it’s no fun when he’s not his usual silly self.

The one concern I had about starting the Provera was that if I am destined to get my period on my own, will taking the Provera only delay it? In other words, normally when I take the Provera, I take it for 5 days and then anywhere between 5 and 12 days after I take my last pill I will withdraw. So I didn’t know if I would actually be pushing my period off. To my relief, I do not have to worry about it. The doctor told me that it could only make me get it that much sooner due to the added progesterone in my system.

While I’m out, I think I’ll stop to pick myself up some hot chocolate too! Some rich, creamy, delicious hot chocolate. Why? Because, damn- it, I deserve it!! And because with the wind chill it’s only about 10 degrees outside….Bbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!