Well first thing yesterday morning I called my doctors office to let the doctor know that I am now on cycle day 31, and I still hadn’t gotten my period. If you remember, my doctor wanted to do a blood test by 11/28, cycle day 30, if I hadn’t seen my period. I gave it an extra day…just in case. They had me come down to the office to have blood drawn and ordered the results STAT.

I called the office again last night around 7pm to see if the results happened to be in yet, and they told me to call back around 1pm today (28 hours later- not too STAT to me). Now just a little something I need to get off of my chest:

The last thousand times I have had blood work done I’ve gone directly to the lab in the hospital which is about a 90 second drive, actually the same distance as the doctors office but the opposite direction. When I called the office yesterday morning, they insisted I come down to the office instead and they would take care of it. Fine. The only thing is that when I called last night for the STAT results, they said the lab hadn’t even picked the specimen up yet. What??!! So me feeling like I had to be difficult I said “Usually I go right to the hospital for my blood work and the results are back the same day.” So the nurse goes on to say “Oh, you should have gone there and they would have just sent us the results.” Hello! I know this! This was the point I was trying to make this morning when I was told to come down in the first place. I knew that going to the office to get blood drawn meant that they would have to send it out. Whatever, I’m not going to argue the point, I just want to know…Positive? Or not?

So being as impatient as I am, I called the office at 12noon for the results. You know the extra hour would have just killed me! So I called, and she happened to have the results right in front of her. Drumroooooll please……The results came back negative. Instantly my heart hurt really badly. I had been thinking up creative ways to break the wonderful news to my husband for weeks now. I was speaking to the doctors wife, whom I love! She has been through a lot herself to get pregnant and did finally become a mommy, so she is very inspiring and has a comforting way about her.

On the call she apologized that I didn’t get the news I had hoped for, and went on to talk with me for a bit. I explained my symptoms to her. I told her that today my boobs are so sore, but they have not grown at all, which is not typical. I also let her know I have terrible cramps, cramps that started yesterday mid morning and haven’t let up. Normally I don’t get these types of cramps until after I get my period. She said it is likely I will get my period any day with those types of symptoms. And here I was convincing myself they were the early symptoms of pregnancy. Ho Hum.

She then said that the other possibility is that I may not have ovulated until later than I thought, and I may have just interpreted the ovulation predictor kit incorrectly. She also referred to the sonogram I had on 11/14, cycle day 16, which showed a dominant follicle. Basically, she recommended that I wait it out until Monday to see if I get my period on my own. If I still do not get it by then, she told me to take another test and to only use First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test. If I get a negative result, a prescription for Provera will be called into my pharmacy. This will induce my period and will then be able to start my second Clomid cycle.

So to recap, if I get my period on my own by Monday, great! That would mean that I did ovulate but we did not hit it right…literally. If I do not get my period by Monday and have a negative pregnancy test, I will start Provera immediately to induce my next cycle.

I am off to go make some coffee…caffeinated coffee. Cheers!

Today I’m on cycle day 30, one day closer to being able to find out whether or not this first round of Clomid was indeed a complete success! But I’m not getting my hopes up, remember? Only keeping my thoughts positive. Really, what’s the difference? I hoping I’m pregnant, and that is a positive thought. Either way, I’m trying to keep myself busy so I don’t concentrate on it.

I definitely feel crampy in the abdominal area today. Although I don’t know if it’s from this mornings sculpting class, that I am going to get my period, or if my mind is playing ridiculous tricks on me. Otherwise I feel pretty much the same as I did yesterday, except a bit more fatigued and irritable. Exercise really helps with the irritable part, although it leaves me feeling more fatigued…go figure!

Last week was actually my last session with my trainer at the gym. I was pretty upset about it as I feel I’m not ready to venture out on my own just yet. She brought up the idea of group training which is half the price of a full hour session, and you get to work out with somebody else who’s at your same fitness level. Of course I jumped at the idea to save some money while still getting to train with a professional! Sadly enough, her other client whom she was going to pair me with couldn’t commit right now, so I went ahead and purchased four more one hour sessions. Instead of meeting with her twice a week- one day upper body, one day lower body, I will meet with her once a week and do both upper and lower body in that hour. I’ve also started to incorporate, as I mentioned above, sculpting classes on Monday and Wednesday mornings. So far so good!

Onward I march, exercising my right to fertility!

So the “2 week wait”, the 14 days between the time you ovulate and the time you can actually get a positive result on a home pregnancy test, are seriously the S-L-O-W-E-S-T TWO WEEKS EVER! It has been just about as agonizing as when I was 6 years old and waiting for Christmas morning! Hold on…that wait is still agonizing for me even at 26. Well anyway, you get the idea.

Today I am on cycle day 29. If I were on a “normal” 28 day cycle I would have started my period today, but as you know from my previous post, my cycles are anything but. As per my doctor, I shouldn’t start testing until cycle day 30, which would actually be tomorrow, Wed 11/28. He also recommended I only use First Response- Early Result Pregnancy Test, because from his experiences, it is the most accurate and has been known to detect traces of HCG as low as 15 mIU/ml. But who am I to follow doctors orders…so I instead started testing on Thursday 11/22 (I’m thinking this was only about 10 days post ovulation) and to my surprise…it was negative! Of course testing that early was going to be a let down. I know this, but still felt compelled to waste the first of my 3 pregnancy tests. So I went about my business and tested yet again on cycle day 26 (12 days post ovulation, I think) and it was again negative. OK, you know it is still early yet. After all, only a handful of women get a positive result that early, right?

So I wake up this morning at 3:30, for my second bathroom trip of my usual 3 per night, and do the unthinkable. Yes, I tested again. Negative. It’s kind of funny. I could only imagine what I look like when I am inspecting my pregnancy tests…with a magnifying glass. I read on some forum a few days ago that this one particular woman actually took her test outside to check for a faint second line. So what did I do? No I didn’t go outside, it was too cold. I went to the window, opened it to let even more light in, and checked it again. Negative. Although I think I’ll have my husband check it out when he gets home tonight just to be sure I didn’t miss something.

Also, usually I know that I will be getting my period because about a week beforehand, my boobs start getting very sensitive. Two days later they are super sore to the touch. The next day they look Awesome! I mean great! They usually go up at least a cup size. Fun for everyone…except me when I’m trying to sleep on my belly. Well over the weekend they started getting sensitive and yesterday they started getting very sore to the touch. I know this can also be a symptom of pregnancy- one of many I will gladly welcome if I would only get pregnant- so I’m trying not to get aggravated over the situation they are putting me in, which is sleeping on my back.

So now I’ve made up my mind that I will wait until Thursday 11/29 to test again. This is even a day later than the doctor originally suggested. The way I look at it, by this point I should own stock in First Response! After all, I am the reason they stock the shelves so frequently at my local CVS pharmacy. Sorry, I digress. Even if this next test turns out to be negative, I will be sent for a blood test. This will show actual HCG levels, if there are any to be shown.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

So here I am, 26 years old and having trouble getting pregnant? Is that even possible? I could see if I were maybe 10 years older, but I’m not, so the problem lies where? Why the infertility? I’m pretty fit and at a healthy weight, don’t do drugs, only drink alcohol occasionally, and quit smoking 2 ½ years ago. I’d say that’s the ideal portrait of a healthy woman…no?

There comes a point in time where most people know you’re trying to conceive. So they don’t leave you alone about it. Please don’t get me wrong, I’ve found much comfort in reading other women’s war stories online and conversing with friends and strangers about them as well. So I figured, why not start a blog about my stories? Who knows, maybe somebody will find as much comfort in reading about my stories, as I have about others.

Warning: This may just be the longest blog post you have ever encountered. I have 11 months to backfill just to bring you up to speed on my current situation.

It all started December 15th 2006, when I made the decision to stop taking birth control, which I had been taking since May of 2003. My thinking here was to have my cycle regulated by the time my husband and I were ready to start trying to conceive our first child. After all, I’ve read this could take up to a year.

After throwing out the last pack of pills, and withdrawing right away, I figured “this would be cake; I’d be regulated and fertile as anything in no time”! Apparently life had a different idea for me, because after having my period the end of December and again in January, it didn’t show in February and was nowhere in sight.

March 2007

A tad concerned over going an entire month and a half without getting my period, I called my OB/Gyn to make him aware of what was going on and he said “If you don’t get your period by April 15, call me and I’ll prescribe Provera to make you withdraw”. Needless to say, I went on to withdraw on my own in early April and scheduled an appointment to see the doctor, at his request, to discuss what was going on with me. Of course the earliest appointment they had available was weeks away in May, so I took it.

May 2007

Upon this visit he opted to send me for some blood work to determine what exactly was going on with my system. My FSH, LH, Estrogen, Progesterone, and Thyroid levels were all tested as was my husband to make sure there was nothing wrong on his end. He also had me schedule an appointment for a sonogram to make sure that there was nothing structurally abnormal with my uterus and ovaries. I went for all my testing and scheduled a follow up visit to go over all the results.

June 2007

I had my follow up visit to go over the results of the testing from last month. I was told that everything was fine with my husband’s analysis but my progesterone levels were low which told him I wasn’t ovulating so I was a great candidate for the fertility drug Clomid. He sent me for a quantitative HCG to make sure I was not pregnant and then put me on Provera to bring on my period.

Now, I’ve read about Clomid and was honestly a bit nervous that he had decided to jump to put me on a fertility medication so quickly. But, him being the doctor and me being the obsessive patient who wants to get pregnant, I decided to go with it and rushed home to read everything I may have previously missed about this miracle drug. An important piece of information I gathered, not only from my own research but from friends who have also been on this therapy, was that you should be closely monitored via ultrasound and/ or blood work. This is the most surefire way to determine if it is working for you.

I won’t forget to mention that at a friend’s birthday party in June, two close friends announced their pregnancy. My husband and I were thrilled for both of them! But it also confirmed how NOT pregnant I was. “Commence to Start” the Clomid!

For anyone who doesn’t know about Clomid, it is a fertility drug that you should only take for 3- 6 months, max. Chances are if it doesn’t work within the 3- 6 months, it will not work at all. Without getting into the technical side of the drug, long story short, it is supposed to make you ovulate, a department I was clearly lacking.

July 2007

So I fill the prescription for Provera and finally got my period 7/16/07, which meant I could start my first round of Clomid on cycle day 5. I took the prescribed 100 mg a day for 5 days and waited. And I waited.

August 2007

When I went back to the doctor for a follow/ annual visit. I told him I had taken the Clomid as prescribed but was unsure if I had ovulated, b/c I never got a positive result when testing for my LH surge using the ANSWER Daily Ovulation Tracker and still hadn’t gotten my period. He sent me for a quantitative HCG which came back with my levels at 0, not pregnant.

Now I had been feeling a bit uncomfortable with my doctor for a couple for months. Was it the way he blew off my first concern over not getting my period for so long? Was it that he was so quick to prescribe Clomid for me with the only explanation being that I was not ovulating? Was it that when I questioned why he had not done a mid cycle ultrasound to see if I had a chance of ovulating from the Clomid, he told me it was a low dose and only my first cycle so it wasn’t necessary? Whatever it was, I decided it was time to look for a new doctor.

After speaking with a bunch of my girlfriends at a party one Saturday, I decided to try one of their doctors whose office happens to be conveniently right around the corner from my home. I called the office and they were able to get me in for an appointment right away. I went, looking forward to getting some straight answers, and hit it off with the staff and doctor immediately. I proceeded to transfer all my records over and became an established patient as quickly as I could. I was eager to get this all straightened out!

During this consult the doctor took a good 40 minutes with me! Practically unheard of in my past experiences! My other doctor was always in and out in a matter of seconds…literally! Total pun intended. Not this doctor, he had me sit in his office and listened attentively as I explained what I had been through over the past 8 months. He told me his plan would be to hold off sending me for any testing until after I got my period again, since fertility testing is cycle day sensitive (a little piece of information my old doctor obviously let slip his mind). While I was a bit bummed that he wasn’t going to give me any meds so we could get this process started right away, I was putting my faith in his hands, as I had heard only wonderful stories about him. My husband’s reassurance of what a better position we were in now helped too. I had a transvaginal sonogram right away to check out my uterus and ovaries to look for cysts or anything else that shouldn’t be there, and this showed multiple baby cysts on both ovaries. The new plan of action would be as follows:

1- Complete blood workup to rule out polycystic ovary syndrome on cycle day 3
2- Hysterosalpingogram any day between cycle days 7-10
3- Be patient, you will get pregnant

Reassuring.

So I ended up leaving there feeling pretty good, that I was in trustworthy hands and was on the right track to get my system straightened out in order to have our first baby!

September 2007

To my surprise, I did get my period on 9/5/07 and went on to have my PCOS workup on 9/7/07 and the HSG done on 9/14/07 and then scheduled a follow up for 9/27/07 to go over all these results.

9/27/07 could not come fast enough! The ay finally arrived and at this follow up visit, the doctor explained to my husband and me that my blood work came back great! He was pleased to see my insulin levels, and thyroid and liver functions were great and he was impressed by how perfect my cholesterol levels were! Woo hoo!! My HSG showed no uterine or fallopian tube abnormalities or blockages. I’m feeling really good. He then went on to say that the cysts on my ovaries shown on the transvaginal sonogram were consistent with PCOS. He explained that what is happening is the follicles on my ovaries are not getting to maturation size and therefore just turning into cysts, whereas normally, one follicle (or in some cases more than one) would become dominant and release the egg to then be fertilized. Voila…BABY! Of course it’s a bit more complicated than that, but you get the idea.

After talking for a while he decided to send me for blood to test my progesterone level to see if I had ovulated this cycle. Pending these results, he said he may give me Provera to bring on my period if I do not get it on my own by mid October and then possibly start me on my first “real” cycle of Clomid. Testing progesterone levels for ovulation is sensitive to cycle day 21, which it just so happened to be! My husband and I also happened to be on our way to the hospital anyway to visit friends who had just given birth the night before, so I would just stop down at the lab quick and have blood drawn.

The next day I received a call from the doctor letting me know the results of my progesterone levels. They were 1.2 on cycle day 21; they should have been more like 8-10 or possibly even higher. This told the doctor that I indeed did not ovulate this cycle and he right away called in a prescription for Clomid, 50 mg to be taken on cycle days 5-9 of my next cycle and again said that if I do not start my next cycle by mid October, to notify him and he would call in Provera to bring on my period so I can start with my treatment.

Now, I know they say not to start a vigorous exercise routine while you are trying to conceive, but I had been meaning to get back into the gym and just could not motivate myself. I was also feeling ridiculously stressed and decided the gym would probably do me much more good than harm at this point. My husband, being as wonderful as he is, offered to purchase personal training sessions for me, as well as a 4 week workshop on nutrition. I can say now that that just may have been the best thing that has ever happened to me…besides him of course…he’ll enjoy that little plug! The goal here was have an outlet to de-stress and get myself toned up and in better shape for a pregnancy. I would also like to continue exercising throughout my pregnancy, so I figured this would be perfect!

October 2007

By October 15, I still had not started my next cycle and had a negative pregnancy test, so I followed doctor’s orders and started on Provera that day, and finally withdrew on 10/30/07 while on a much needed vacation in Ft Lauderdale.

**So now this brings us to the present and we are talking about my current cycle; slightly more interesting.

November 2007

Now that I started my cycle on 10/30/07 I can begin taking Clomid on 11/3/07, which should make me ovulate anywhere between 11/10/07 and 11/16/07. At the instruction of the doctor, I began testing for my LH surge using the Clearblue Easy-Digital Ovulation Test on cycle day 11, 11/9/07. I could swear I detected my surge between 11/10/07 and 11/11/07 so I immediately called the doctor Monday morning, 11/12/07, to let them know. They had me come down for a sonogram on Wed 11/14/07 and the results showed that I had multiple follicles in both ovaries, but one clearly dominant on the right side. The doctor was positive that my first round of Clomid was a success in making me ovulate and said that if I did not get my period by 11-28, he would send me for a quantitative HCG. I of course told him that I was not getting my hopes up that the first round of Clomid would result in pregnancy, as I had so many times before only to be let down.

Needless to say, ever since that appointment on 11/14/07, every little cramp or twinge, headache or sign of fatigue, bout of nausea whether it be due to taking my prenatals on an empty stomach or not, I swear I’m pregnant. See here I go obsessing again.

So now we sit and wait while trying not to get our hopes up too high. And so the saga continues…